NOTE FROM TED: This talk only represents the speaker’s personal approach to and understanding of the nervous system and emotional regulation. TEDx events are independently organized by volunteers. The guidelines we give TEDx organizers are described in more detail here: http://storage.ted.com/tedx/manuals/tedx_content_guidelines.pdfWhen a child lashes out, what if it isn’t defiance—but survival? In this powerful TEDx talk, veteran educator David explores how children’s “misbehavior” often hides a single question: Am I safe with you? Drawing on neuroscience and decades of experience, he introduces the CALM method—Center, Affirm, Lead, Meet—as a roadmap for connection instead of control. His message is clear: when adults choose calm over chaos, we don’t just change behavior—we transform lives. If you’d like to contact Dr. David A. Palmer directly, please visit www.drdavidapalmer.comDr. David A. Palmer, Ed.D., is an educator with over 30 years of experience in classroom and school administration, as well as the father of six adopted neurodivergent children. Through his trauma-informed, nervous-system-centered approach, he empowers overwhelmed parents and teachers to shift from compliance to connection, transforming the way we respond to fostering emotional regulation and resilience in children and teens. This talk was given at a TEDx event using the TED conference format but independently organized by a local community. Learn more at https://www.ted.com/tedx

In this talk, researcher and writer, Dr Alice Ashcroft, explores how the subtle language pattern of "hedging" (those small words like "I think," "maybe," and "sort of") shapes our professional and personal lives in ways we rarely notice. Drawing from her research in gendered language and technology, she reveals how hedging isn't linguistic filler but a tool that reflects power dynamics, gender expectations, and the double bind many women face: speak directly and face social penalties, or hedge and undermine your own authority. Through examples from software design meetings to childhood memories, she demonstrates how understanding hedging can transform it from an unconscious habit into a strategic choice.Rather than advocating for the elimination of hedging language, Dr Alice Ashcroft, reframes it as a skill to be refined and deployed intentionally. She introduces practical tools like "The Button Example" and "The Power of Why" to help audiences recognise when hedging serves them and when it doesn't. The talk challenges conventional wisdom about confident communication, arguing that mastering intentional hedging isn't about speaking more like men or removing uncertainty from our language, it's about making conscious choices about how we use language to navigate systems that weren't designed with everyone's voices in mind. The result is a fresh perspective on communication that empowers people to maintain their authentic voices while claiming the space and authority they deserve.Dr Alice Ashcroft is a researcher and consultant who analyses the impact of identity and gendered language in software design and technology use. Alice has been published in peer-reviewed academic publications, and her PhD, titled “Design, Innovation and Software: The Impact of Gender and Language”, focused on how gender affects communication and teamwork in software design and innovation workshops. Their work highlights the need for more inclusive practices that give everyone a voice, helping to improve creativity and collaboration in the design process.This talk was given at a TEDx event using the TED conference format but independently organized by a local community. Learn more at https://www.ted.com/tedx