NOTE FROM TED: While some viewers may find this helpful as a complementary approach, please do not look to this talk for mental health advice and seek professional help if you are struggling. This talk only represents the speaker’s personal views and understanding of parenting and emotional well-being. TEDx events are independently organized by volunteers. The guidelines we give TEDx organizers are described in more detail here: http://storage.ted.com/tedx/manuals/tedx_content_guidelines.pdfIn a culture obsessed with metrics and milestones, this TEDxFargo Talk challenges the narrative that achievement equals worth. It examines how our fixation on grades, goals, and gold stars—often imposed by well-meaning parents—contributes to the mental health crisis among youth. This talk calls for a cultural shift: from measuring kids to making sure they feel they matter. It explores how unconditional love, intrinsic value, and emotional safety are the real foundations of resilience and well-being. By highlighting ways to balance healthy ambition with authentic self-worth, it offers a hopeful blueprint for parents, educators, and communities to reimagine our view of mattering—not as something earned, but as something innate. Because when kids know they matter—not for what they do, but for who they are—they thrive. Missy founded BIO Girls in 2013 and has served as CEO since. Before making it her full-time role in 2018, she spent 15 years in the tech industry as a consultant and marketing leader. Under her leadership, BIO Girls has grown from a local program impacting dozens of girls to a regional nonprofit serving thousands annually. She has scaled the organization through controlled growth and innovation while fostering a workplace culture of balance and family-first values. A mom to three daughters and wife to Tom, Missy loves adventure with her family, traveling, mountain biking, running, Ironman triathlons, and hiking. She is also an avid fan of professional track and field, the MN Vikings, her kids’ activity and her cat, Harry. Missy was a four-time All-American in track at UND (’01), earning degrees in Exercise Science and Nutrition. As a recipient of an NCAA postgraduate scholarship, Missy completed an MBA degree from NDSU (’04). This talk was given at a TEDx event using the TED conference format but independently organized by a local community. Learn more at https://www.ted.com/tedx