The Puzzle of Belonging: Why We All Struggle To Fit In | Frederick Lalu | TEDxEspoo Youth
Frederick Lalu was a Youth Speaker at TEDxEspoo Youth 2025!What does it really mean to belong? In this TEDx Talk, Frederick Lalu takes the audience on a journey through his own experience trying to find his place in a new country. It is a story about complexities of fighting in, societal expectations, and understanding the struggle to belong is something we all experience - no matter where we come from or where we end up.The Talk starts off with Frederick’s reflection on the small yet uncomfortable moments when we feel like we don't belong, like walking into the wrong classroom or feeling like an outsider. For Frederick, this feeling of “not belonging” grew even stronger when he moved to Finland, they faced a whole new set of challenges, from language barriers to cultural differences. Despite the effort he put in - learning the language, paying taxes, and following all the social rules - the feeling of being an “outsider” remained.This Talk is about the universal human experience of wanting to be seen, accepted, and included. Frederick shares his struggles with fitting in, from mimicking local behaviors to joining different groups in an attempt to find “his people”. But he soon came to the realization that it is not about erasing who you are to fit a mold - it is about finding spaces that allow you to bring your differences, your true self, and still feel valued Fitting in is not just about trying harder or changing yourself - it requires others to meet you halfway. Whether it's a society as a whole or a small group of friends, belonging requires more than just effort from one side. This is about something that touches all of us at different points in our lives.Frederick encourages all of us to look at our biases, recognize the invisible lines that divide us, and choose to make space for difference. In a world where it is easy to judge based on appearances or preconceived notions, the talk reminds us that fitting in should never mean disappearing, and true belonging takes effort from everyone involved.At the end of Frederick’s Talks he says: “We will all never fit perfectly in a group. And that is okay. But we can build communities that make space for these differences, and we can start expecting people to erase themselves just to be acceptable. We can choose to understand when it's uncomfortable, because fitting in should never mean disappearing, and belonging in should never be just an effort from one side.”This is a reminder that we all have a role in creating inclusive spaces where difference is celebrated, not erased.#TEDxEspooYouth #TEDxTalk #TEDxEspooYouth2025 Frederick Lalu is currently studying at University of Helsinki. Apart from his studies, he is currently a Board Member at the National Committee of European Youth Parliament Finland – EYP Finland ry an independent youth organization dedicated to empowering young Europeans through European Parliament simulations and promoting active citizenship. Frederick has been an active member in many other youth organizations for the last four years. This talk was given at a TEDx event using the TED conference format but independently organized by a local community. Learn more at https://www.ted.com/tedx
More from TED
- 17:07Breaking the cycle of homelessness | Kara Toone | TEDxBountifulKara will address the growing concern of homelessness in Utah and nationwide, highlighting the alarming increase in family homelessness reported by the Utah Office of Homeless Services in January 2024. She will explore how homelessness affects students—leading to higher absenteeism, food insecurity, suicidal thoughts, poor academic performance, and significantly lower graduation rates. Emphasizing that youth without a high school diploma are at a 346% higher risk of experiencing homelessness in young adulthood, she will discuss how education can be a "silver bullet" to prevent homelessness and will challenge communities to rally together to support, teach, and nurture homeless students toward stability. Kara Toone is a dedicated professional with the Davis Education Foundation, the nonprofit fundraising arm of the Davis School District. She oversees grant writing, student fundraising, employee giving campaigns, and contributes to research, data analysis, and policy development. Passionate about supporting students in need, Kara focuses on the Foundation's initiative to establish Teen Centers—resource hubs in high schools that provide homeless students with essential services like showers, laundry facilities, academic support, and guidance toward graduation and post-secondary success. This talk was given at a TEDx event using the TED conference format but independently organized by a local community. Learn more at https://www.ted.com/tedx
- 12:41You Suck | Yibela Gebretsadik | TEDxWJHS YouthI’m a teenager applying to various colleges later this year, and during this process, I’ve had to curate an identity that I could present to these colleges. Thus began my journey of self-improvement—both physically and mentally. I wanted, and still want, to become the best version of myself so that when I apply to these colleges, I feel the utmost confidence in who I am.However, while on this journey to developing a true sense of confidence and identity, most teenagers and adults alike hit one major roadblock on the path to success: a lack of honesty. Many don’t get started because they refuse to accept either their current standing in life or how much they must do to achieve their goals.I’m here to teach those people exactly that.You don’t start with your looks, you start from within. You start with honesty. Hello everyone! My name is Yibela Gebretsadik. I am a rising senior aspiring to study International Relations at a four-year university during the fall next year. When not drowning in my studies, I participate in various extracurricular activities both outside and inside of school! My favorite thing to do is getting to know others from diverse backgrounds. And that’s where I found my love for public speaking - through representing these various communities. This talk was given at a TEDx event using the TED conference format but independently organized by a local community. Learn more at https://www.ted.com/tedx
- 15:14How a charity challenge set me free | Jo Ferbrache | TEDxSt HelierThis talk will show you how a charity challenge can give you the purpose, accountability, and time frame to step outside your comfort zone and make lasting changes in your life. It’s not just about what you give up, but what you gain along the way. Jo is a transformational coach and public speaker who helps individuals reconnect with themselves by working with their mindset, movement, breath, and emotions. With years of experience as a business leader, including serving as Managing Director, Jo understands first-hand the pressures of high-level performance and the toll it can take on both mind and body. After a charity challenge catalysed her own life transformation, she now empowers clients to let go of what's no longer serving them - limiting beliefs and fears holding them back - and offers practical tools to reduce stress, embrace the present moment, and live authentically. This talk was given at a TEDx event using the TED conference format but independently organized by a local community. Learn more at https://www.ted.com/tedx
- 13:12Why inclusive AI matters | Chenayi Mutambasere | TEDxSt HelierIn this compelling talk, technologist and economist Chenayi Mutambasere explores the urgent need for inclusive intelligence in AI. She highlights three key data gaps that includes Representation, Africa, and Languages that lead to systemic biases in areas like hiring, healthcare, and law enforcement. Chenayi calls for ethical data use, equitable access, and diverse voices in AI development to prevent digital exclusion. Her talk is a powerful call to action for governments, educators, and technologists to address data poverty and build AI systems that reflect the full breadth of human experience.Chenayi Mutambasere is a development economist, enterprise architect, and advocate for equitable economic solutions. With expertise in AI, institutional reform, and economic justice, Chenayi is committed to shaping inclusive and sustainable development. This talk was given at a TEDx event using the TED conference format but independently organized by a local community. Learn more at https://www.ted.com/tedx
- 13:02Jam today: unleashing the power of meanwhile use | David Warr | TEDxSt HelierWe create so much waste in our society, fast fashion and food waste for example, however we rarely see the consequences as it usually ends up being someone else’s problem. However, homes that have been abandoned and public spaces left unloved and unused plague many jurisdictions and it’s right in front of our very eyes. We need a culture change, we need a new vision, we need to recognise that the NEED is now, we need solutions now, jam today. Inaction is a weapon of mass destruction. A poor physical environment leads to negative health outcomes and increases the cost to our hugely expensive health system. We need to take preventative action and investing in a meanwhile use whilst we wait for a bigger idea should be a default position. We need a culture change Elected to the States Assembly in 2022 and became the islands Housing Minister at a tumultuous time in the housing market. Vacant homes became a passion of mine. Why when we had a housing crisis were so many homes left vacant? That led me to consider all spaces that had been abandoned and what could be done. I am also a business owner and have an MBA with the Open University. I have also represented my Island at tennis over many years. This talk was given at a TEDx event using the TED conference format but independently organized by a local community. Learn more at https://www.ted.com/tedx
- 14:51Experiência gera consciência | Jorge Kotz | TEDxVila MarianaPor que algumas memórias ficam gravadas e outras desaparecem? Nesta talk, Jorge Kotz mostra como nossas experiências (boas ou ruins) moldam quem somos, o que acreditamos e como nos relacionamos com os outros. Ele compartilha reflexões sobre como mudar de vida exige mais do que aprender: exige viver novas experiências, buscar outros contextos e se permitir sentir o mundo de outras formas. Saído do interior do Paraná, Jorge não deixou que simples probabilidades o impedissem de alcançar seus objetivos. Ele trilhou um caminho improvável até se tornar um nome de destaque na educação empresarial. Hoje, depois de ministrar e organizar eventos por todo o Brasil, segue leal ao que acredita: que é possível transformar o mundo com coragem, conhecimento — e um pouco de loucura. This talk was given at a TEDx event using the TED conference format but independently organized by a local community. Learn more at https://www.ted.com/tedx