NOTE FROM TED: This talk only represents the speaker’s personal approach to and understanding of the nervous system and emotional regulation. TEDx events are independently organized by volunteers. The guidelines we give TEDx organizers are described in more detail here: http://storage.ted.com/tedx/manuals/tedx_content_guidelines.pdfWhen a child lashes out, what if it isn’t defiance—but survival? In this powerful TEDx talk, veteran educator David explores how children’s “misbehavior” often hides a single question: Am I safe with you? Drawing on neuroscience and decades of experience, he introduces the CALM method—Center, Affirm, Lead, Meet—as a roadmap for connection instead of control. His message is clear: when adults choose calm over chaos, we don’t just change behavior—we transform lives. If you’d like to contact Dr. David A. Palmer directly, please visit www.drdavidapalmer.comDr. David A. Palmer, Ed.D., is an educator with over 30 years of experience in classroom and school administration, as well as the father of six adopted neurodivergent children. Through his trauma-informed, nervous-system-centered approach, he empowers overwhelmed parents and teachers to shift from compliance to connection, transforming the way we respond to fostering emotional regulation and resilience in children and teens. This talk was given at a TEDx event using the TED conference format but independently organized by a local community. Learn more at https://www.ted.com/tedx